This story sucks a big fat veiny donkey cock: Apparently (and allegedly) a waiter in America’s wang, Florida, had his finger broke by an irate customer for the ghastly offense of bringing him the check after the customer’s wife asked for it. I read about this originally on the Bitter Waitress forum and knew immediately that I would have to write about it.
This is the story I copy/pasted from the Palm Beach Daily News:
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A server at Club Colette filed a police report Sunday that stated that resident John Castle became irate with him the previous night and injured the waiter’s hand to the point of breaking his finger, records show.
The 57-year-old server told police that Castle’s wife, Marianne, asked the server for the dinner bill around 9 p.m. Saturday, then directed the server to give it to her husband, the report states.
Castle, 76, of 1095 N. Ocean Blvd., began ranting and called the server a “schmuck” for bringing the bill to the table, the server told police. He also reported Castle grabbed his left hand and began squeezing and twisting his fingers, police said. The server told police he was in pain and went to a walk-in clinic Sunday where an X-ray showed his left ring finger was broken, the report states.
Police took the report as informational, listed the case as open/active and wrote in the report they would take no further action at this time because the server wanted to consult with an attorney, police said. The server also said he would get back with police within a few days, the report said. He declined to comment on the incident but confirmed he would most likely seek legal counsel.
A call to the Castle residence Monday afternoon went unanswered.
Club Colette owner Dan Ponton said his employees do as requested by members and that the club does not have a policy either way about presenting a check at a member’s table.
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Let me just say what we are all thinking: Holy Shitballs, Batman! (I know–as a so-called ‘writer’ I am supposed to be able to capture the zeitgeist of the moment and coalesce the vapors of human understanding into verbal symbols and all that but I’ll be damned if I could come up with anything more eloquent than ‘Holy Shitballs’. Sorry, kids:)
When I told my friend Silent Dave (who doesn’t speak much but when he does it’s usually worth listening to) about this, he succinctly said ‘I wish that motherfucker would get sat in my section and try that shit with me.’ Yes Indeed. I personally would give either one of my testicles for the opportunity to wait on this richie asshole, and I love all three of my boys.
In case you didn’t feel like reading an actual reporter’s take on it, I’ll summarize it for you. A FIFTY-SEVEN year old waiter named Paul Kucik was working at a posh dining club in West Palm Beach when the wife of a customer asked him to bring the check. This was such an egregious breach of protocol that the customer felt within his rights to insult and berate the server, ultimately physically assaulting him and breaking his finger. And from what I’ve been able to read nobody is making any sort of comments and this and it will probably be swept under the rug with a gold-plated broom, which can totally happen when there’s enough money involved. And there is. This guy Castle, whose name I feel safe pronouncing Cas-hole, is supposedly famously stinking rich. And not for being a nice guy or inventing something useful or curing cancer either.
Some of the headlines on some of the articles on the internet refer to Paul as an ‘insolent waiter’ and that he gave ‘schmucky service’. Without a doubt you will read stories about how Paul Kucik is just another bumbling, incompetent waiter who is just trying to blow this little incident way out of proportion and cash in on the situation. You will read comments about how any man who is 57 years of age and waiting tables for a living obviously just has to be mentally deficient or incompetent. Somewhere someone will write that Castle was justified in standing up for the rights of all of the dining public who have suffered from the mistreatment of rude and insolent servers everywhere.
But these people don’t know Paul.
Hell, I don’t know Paul. I’ve never met the man. I’d like to meet him, but I don’t know anything about him that you don’t know.
I know he is a waiter at a prestigious country club-type fine dining establishment. I know that, generally speaking, the better the quality of establishment the better the quality of staff usually. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he probably didn’t get that job by being terrible at it, or not having experience. I know that Kucik’s ‘crime’ seems to be bringing the check when he was requested to do so. I know his finger was broken. I know he didn’t make too big of a fuss over it, and that shows a lot more poise than I would be showing in the multiple press conferences I would be holding.
I think it sucks that something like this ever happened in modern-day America but I hope that some good at least comes from it. I hope Paul pillages Castle’s bank account like he pillaged all those businesses to get his fortunes, but I also hope that this is so bad that it sheds light on all the injustices that resties suffer through in dealing with hostile customers and managers. I hope that in reading or hearing about this that people who otherwise would not have considered their server to be a human being begin to see them as such. And ultimately I hope Mr. Castle figures out that servers and restaurant workers are worthy of dignity and respect.
But let’s face it–if he’s smart he’s probably not going to want to eat in a restaurant for a long time. You all know my stance on adulterating food, but the idea of this Revenge Of The Nerds/Gollum looking piss monkey grabbing a fellow server’s hand and breaking a finger really just makes my dick itch. If the story next week is that Castle went to a restaurant and ate a twice-used condom salad with a side of Hep C it wouldn’t break my heart.
It’s a good thing Paul’s bird finger wasn’t harmed. I hope it got put to use.
Dignity and Respect
Me, The JerBear