Waiter Traitor

First of all, I’m not in love with the term ‘waiter traitor’ but I don’t know if there is a word for it in the industry’s lexicon. What I’m talking about here is someone who works in or has worked in the FOH in a tipped position but still doesn’t tip worth a shit. Host and bus staff are excluded from this for some reason because they kinda fall into the same tipping category as kitchen staff (in that yeah they work in a restaurant but they don’t have quite the same level of empathy for servers and bartenders, so they may or may not tip well*)

*Don’t ask me why this is. It’s just a thing. Trust me.

But a hostess coming in and leaving $4 on a $27 check is waaaaayyyyyy more acceptable and forgivable than what happened the other day.**

**I make it a point not to write about things that happen at my current job but given the subject matter of this post and the fact the waiter traitors in general can go suck a deeyuck, I feel safe in relaying this story.***

*** Also: I have an asterisk quota to meet.

So the other day I had the pleasure of once again waiting on this person that I had worked with at I think a couple of different places. This WT’s work history included a stint bartending at a Crimson Crustacean and if I’m not mistaken is currently employed as a bartender, so the first few times I waited on Dub and Dub’s large spouse and ten year old (who is cute and well-mannered and innocent in this) I expected at the very least a decent tip. I was disappointed. So were all the other people that have waited on them. It’s not like Dub is unpleasant to wait on. It’s just that knowing you’re going to get that eleven percent tip at the end of the meal tends to taint the experience.****

****Ha! I used the word ‘taint’ and it wasn’t even dirty! Also: I met my quota.

I’ve worked with several people who work in the industry and tip like shit and I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. If you grew up in a two room shack deep in the heart of banjo country and had just never heard about tipping customs then I can see myself forgiving you for being a ten percenter. But if you’ve worked in the business and have ever complained about getting a bad tip from a table you worked your ass off for (and if you’ve worked in the business then you HAVE complained about a bad tip), and you STILL don’t tip, I think it tells of a certain kind of douchebaggery on your part. In the future I’m sure that space psychologists will figure out the cause of this behavior, but I’ll be damned if I can. It defies my ability to explain things. And I can explain the ever living shit out of some stuffs.

Dubya Tee, Party of 3 took it a step further: the ten year old had a large styro togo box on the table. Dub said ‘You don’t mind if the little one eats food from another restaurant, do you?’. What I should have said was ‘Well I don’t personally mind but we do ask that you not bring outside food or drinks unless you have to. And there are several signs located in highly visible parts of the host stand and waiting area. Also the owner is here tonight and I don’t want to disrespect my boss by not at least informing you of our policy, you know.’ What I actually said was something like ‘Nah, I don’t mind’ and, trying to make conversation, I asked, ‘So whatcha got there anyway?’

It was a metric shit tonne of fried rice.

From a lower price/much lower quality, quasi-corporate competitor.

I really don’t mind people bringing in outside food or drinks under the right circumstances. Sometimes some people have to have something we don’t offer or can’t make. If little Timmy would be happier eating a happy meal than a sushi roll then I totally understand. If Grandma has to have her special lemonade then I get it. You got a birthday? Hell I don’t want to bake you a cake. But bringing in your own fried rice to my place is like bringing your own tortillas to Taco Bell. No, this was actually more like stopping at Ryan’s and picking up a ‘steak’ and taking it to Ruth Chris and ordering a baked potato. And leaving 11%. After you engage your server in lengthy discussion about their wife and family and all the good times we’ve had working together. In the same restaurant.

In writing this I’m breaking a personal rule of mine because all I’m doing is whining about a tip. Whining isn’t what the JerBear is about. Effective whining is. It’s just so frustrating to have been in the trenches with somebody and fought and suffered the same trials and they basically give you the finger at the end of the meal.

So to recap: Waiter Traitors can go suck a deeyuck.


Dignity and Respect

Me, The JerBear


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6 responses to “Waiter Traitor

  1. It is so strange you write about this now, because just yesterday I had one of those.
    An old man who fought me tooth and nail about every issue and talked down to me the entirety of the meal, told the hostess he was in the restaurant industry for years and years when he was arguing with her, too.

    Then….. why were you an asshole? and why did you leave me 10 percent?

  2. Dude! Waiter Traitor! That’s fucking awesome!! The only possible excuse I can think of for this johnson skull is that he’s so whipped he let’s his evil old lady call the shots.

  3. OnlyHostess

    I’m a host. I have been for the majority of the past five years (I served for about 4 months during summer break one year but can’t stand the unpredictability of a serving schedule with a full class schedule). I’m now majoring in Hospitality Management and will graduate in just over 6 months. I get in tiffs with my friends because I insist on tipping 15% – if the service is poor. 18%-20% for mediocre to good and more for great. If I can’t afford it, I get carry out, and leave a couple dollars for the carry out person in a traditionally sit-down place, or cook.
    Just wanted to say I’m a host and I love tipping well =)
    I feel awful for my servers when they don’t do well.

  4. Is he the exception and not the rule for people that have worked in tipped positions? (there is an asshole in every crowd)

  5. “a metric shit tonne” hahahahaha!

    I hate people who tell you they’ve been a server/are a server and leave you a shit tip or proceed to boss you around like you’re a rented mule. If you were/are a server, you know neither practice is acceptable, you’re just letting me know that you are/were so awful at it all you ever got was 10%


    hey jer bear return the favor go to his work place bring your own booze . when he freaks out tell him whats time it is. also it seems that the word has gotten around the scumbag network that if you say you are in the biz you will get better service.

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