Don’t Be A Waiter Hater

I’d say about 85% of the people who go out to eat in America’s restaurants are great to take care of. They go out to have a good time and socialize and enjoy good food and they are usually very nice and polite. My very first post on this blog was titled I Love The Restaurant Business (which I still maintain to be true), but without those people and of course the people I’ve worked with over the years it probably wouldn’t be as true.

This post isn’t about those people though.

This one is about that loud-assed minority that reinforce the idea in my mind that beyond all shadow of a doubt I earn every penny I make. The other fifteen percent that I’m talking about do not have as good of a time as they should when they go out to eat because they are too busy holding a grudge against us tipped employees to enjoy themselves. And I’m not using the word grudge lightly here, either. Judging from various comments and forum threads I’ve read and a lifetime of experience dealing with it, there are a lot of people out there that, for all intents and purposes, HATE us.

And I don’t think I’m being inappropriately sensitive about this either. Look up any news story on the internet about servers or restaurants and invariably in the comments section you will find a lot of hostile remarks that usually boil down to the same things over and over:

–Tipping is bad

–People that work for tips are bad

–Servers are lazy and stupid and whiny

–Any job in a restaurant is the easiest thing in the world to do shy of breathing and making babies

–If you work in a restaurant and are unhappy about ANY aspect of the job then you should simply go out and get one of those unicorn-esque real jobs

Let me just quote this asshole I came across on This guy registered an account on a message board for restaurant servers so that he could post this well-written, thoroughly thought out dissertation about how he feels about wait staff:

“dear self-entitled cunts (aka FOOD FETCHERS)

you fucking idiots, the only people who think tips are mandatory are dumbfucks like you with the IQ of a walnut. no wonder you are food fetchers. you’re too fucking stupid to even grasp the concept of a tip. you stupid cunts, what makes you think you are so special that you are the only people in the service industry that EXPLICITLY deserve a tip? notice how fucking idiots like you can’t provide a LOGICAL reason to your asshole view of how everyone OWES you something? your argument is based on SHAMING THE CUSTOMER. fuck you, you piece of shit pathetic cunts. you are fucking losers who couldn’t get real jobs. you deserve to be laughed at. now go fetch the fries, you dumb cunts.

cry me a riverrrr… oh no you couldn’t find another job? are you fucking serious? so because you’re such incompetent MORONS, the rest of society should be FORCED to subsidize your pathetic existence? do you know what fucking retarded asshats you sound like? no wonder you are food fetchers.

and yeah, there are plenty of fucking losers like you who couldn’t make it in the real world. so you ended up food fetching. but there are also a lot of successful people who started as food fetchers– guess what, I WAS ONE OF THEM. but i didn’t bitch like you if i didn’t get a tip. i wasn’t happy, but i didn’t bitch about it because i realized i could quit at any time and the customer was under no obligation to give me anything. i worked my ass off to get my money.

you obviously think people OWE you something. no wonder you are fucking losers crying because nobody gave you a tip. hey food fetchers, did it ever occur to you that there are other people who provide services to others that DON’T GET TIPPED? what makes you think food fetchers are so fucking special that you should get what other service industry people don’t get? again, only fucking morons with a single digit IQ can’t grasp this concept of hard work.

and most food fetchers are feminist cunts who CLAIM to be “INDEPENDENT AND STRONG” and yet you EXPECT people GIVE YOU what you don’t deserve like they OWE YOU.

you are selfish, self-entitled CUNTS. feminism produces so many pathetic fucking losers like you that enjoy leeching off of society. i’m so happy i’m not a pathetic fucking loser like you begging for money. i’m so happy that i have the dignity and work ethic to make my own money and not think that strangers OWE me money.

Here’s a tip: GET A REAL JOB.”

I’d love to say I was blown away or shocked by all that but I’ve seen it all before a hundred times in a hundred different ways. In later comments on that thread someone asked why the moderators let that post stay up and the mod said that one of those slips through every once in a while but they left it on there because ‘it’s a typical post that happens a lot.’ Wow.

It’s amazing to me that not only do people feel that way but that they feel that way so strongly that they get on the internet and spew all this kind of hateful bigotry. Naturally the animosity subsides a bit when face to face but the feeling is still there. Clearly the guy that wrote the above rant needs A) a hug, and B) to go back in time and make sure the waitress that rejected him before responds in a positive way to his wooing. Sorry she didn’t want to go out with you, jack777. We’re all scratching our heads over here wondering how any chick could turn down a guy who so clearly has such accomplished social graces and verbal proficiency. It’s a puzzler.

What I would like to do is change these people’s perceptions of resties, but I have absolutely no clue as to how to go about doing this. Each side hurling insults at each other doesn’t get anything positive done. Whenever ‘the tipping debate’ gets brought up in real life or on the internet somebody will always take the ‘Mr. Pink’ approach and start spouting anti server sentiments and then in response a restaurant worker will take the ‘Fuck you, Mr. Pink’ approach and then it just goes on and on.

Everybody has a right to their own opinion I guess. Even hateful racists and homophobes are allowed to feel as much hate and intolerance for whomever or whatever they want. It doesn’t make them look any smarter or more evolved when they give voice to those thoughts. If some inarticulate hayseed stood on a street corner frothing at the mouth and screaming at the top of his lungs ‘I hate niggers and god hates faggots!’, how long would it take for him to get the tar piss beat out of him by some big, burly black dude and his husband?

Why should ‘food fetching cunts’ be considered all that different?



Dignity and Respect

Me, The JerBear


Filed under Uncategorized

14 responses to “Don’t Be A Waiter Hater

  1. People like that are idiots. I work in retail and we get that same attitude and have some look down on us for working there. When my wife was alive her mother kept asking her when was I going to go work in a factory and have a real job. She never had nerve enough to say that to my face.

  2. The strongly held beliefs are only expressed when hiding behind a screen name. Oddly enough these jerks never want to say anything and then attach their name or occupation to it.

  3. Ugh. What a *bleep*.
    I understand the point when people complain about tipping in general. A good part of me agrees that waiters and waitresses should be paid a standard wage so that tipping truly is optional, like it is with (most) baristas. Even so, though I don’t fully agree with the practice of tipping, I still make sure to tip 20%. I know that being a server is hard work and I respect those who do it. I don’t think I’d ever be able to wait tables- good servers truly seem to have it down to an art form.

  4. I know people who like to argue with me when I tip well (on average or less-than-average service – hey, maybe he/she was having a bad day), but not to that extent… WOW.

    I fail to see how feminism got drawn into tipping… I’m a “feminist” with a “real job”, and here’s the fact: you guys in the food industry work exponentially harder than anyone in my industry has to.

    Keep on fighting to show these people how wrong they are… Even though we all know idiots will be idiots and are rather unlikely to change.

  5. Jasmine

    It really is sad that people think like that. I don’t work in a restaurant because I’m lazy or less than. Hell, I have a college degree! I do it because I enjoy it. I’ve tried to whole desk job, 9-5 thing, but it is really boring to me. I wasn’t happy at all sitting behind a desk, answering phone calls, and pushing paper. It just wasn’t for me. But for people to come into my job and look down on me and treat me with disrespect is so foolish and sad of them.

    • I’m always absolutely delighted to run into intelligent people who can engage in educated conversation, even while dining. Usually, a waiter/ress who “wants to talk” is annoying if there are other people with me that I’m clearly interested in talking with, but when I’m alone or my friend and I are bored, a talky wait person is AWESOME.

      I met a homeless wino in Gainesville Florida outside of a cafe, begging for change. I asked him why he drinks. He responded with the following – edited for clarity and with less invective.

      “I weren’t always like this. I have a degree. Got a Bachelors in Agriculture. Even went to grade schools some [I’m assuming he meant grad…] but couldn’t find a good job. Went broke. Lost my family. Nobody will talk to me. Might as well drink, I got nothing to live for.”

      I asked him two botanical questions which he answered effortlessly, and his eyes lit up when he talked about it. I think he had a degree for sure. I pointed him to a recovery shelter that he responded he knew about. I then informed the botany department at UF, and two of my best friends there, that this poor sod needed drying out and a job. I hope that they followed up by posting jobs at the shelter as they promised.

      You never know about people. No one should assume that just because one is a wait staff that they have no past, or no future.

  6. As I’m sure you know, “food-fetchers” are paid waaaay below minimum wage, unlike other service workers. And the writer is absolutely correct, no one owes me a tip, but since I’m providing them a service, I expect to be paid for it. If they don’t wish to pay for my service, they can go to fucking McDonalds and serve themselves.

  7. Pingback: #101 – Marking Territory | Sock Puppet Army

  8. Ignorance is ugly. Sometimes it’s the innocent ugly-duckling type of ugly, like when some african american doesn’t understand why a cracker would want to be intentionally nice to her. The whole “You can’t understand me” argument hinges on that level of ignorance. It’s a sad ignorance, but not malignant.

    This rant of his is filled with hateful ignorance, the ignorance that bears fruit and often, and these aren’t fruit you or anyone should want. It breeds ill will. The ranter is ignorant, as Mr. Pink is, of “economic disparity.” The ranter doesn’t understand why someone could consider a tips focused job to be desirable, and furthermore doesn’t understand that roughly 85% of people will tip. The ranter doesn’t understand how minimum wage is altered to ASSUME tips, thus cheating the worker if none are paid. lastly, the thing even Mr. Pink blew it on, is logic. Neither were strong logical arguments. Both ranters assumed a strong economy with equal opportunity, yada yada. The unicorn economy.

    There’s a solid reason why people who are 30 years old, married, and have kids, are still living with their parents. This is a growing trend as America experiences what in economics is known as a “Twilight period.” There are no sparkling vampires, only hyenas that need to be shot, specifically bankers. 😉

  9. rigmus

    ive never been a server or a waiter, but i have worked with them as a cook in a kitchen. i honestly don’t think i have a mental focus and memory to be a good waiter. you have to have epic customer service skills including infinite patience and a thick skin. i tip those who serve me my food because they are doing a job i probably couldn’t handle, and they are getting paid less than i would expect to get paid. as for the the “unicorn-esque real jobs” i’ve been unemployed for months until just recently, and would have gladly accepted a job serving food, but i was turned down for lack of experience. i think that should say something about the average caliber of person that is employed in that industry

  10. Myles

    I have to say I’m really happy since I’ve moved into a no tipping culture as I was never a fan of tipping being a required thing to begin with. I moved to Korea 5 years ago and the only place where tips are the norm is in the casino industry. Servers are paid a living wage so tips are not needed and the idea of tipping just isn’t on anyone’s radar. The really nice thing about this is that if you do get exceptional service, giving a tip will make that server’s night. A tip SHOULD be a voluntary reward for exceptional service not a requirement.

    Now before I get flamed for this I understand that unfortunately restaurant culture in North America has created a social obligation on the customer for the financial wellbeing of servers. I would like to see this changed, for us to go toward a European or Asian stance on tipping, but the nature of North Americans would make this very difficult, as the quality of work in restaurants would go down since servers wages would be assured regardless of quality of service. North Americans are too extrinsically motivated for the system to slide back to a logical place.

  11. Wanzer

    Now, I was never a waiter, but I have this much to say. Working in a restuarant generally does suck, you bust your ass and people don’t appreciate it. In my experience, my boss never once showed his face at work, I had to deal with several members of the work crew who were only working to support their drug addictions, the managment never tested unless the user came in obviously high on something disruptive. On top of everything else, I was making minimum wage along side eight other people who were making minimum wage.

    My job was to take orders, make sure they were filled and to take money from the customers once the order was complete. This was just a simple deliverary store for pizza. I never got tips, the cooks never got tips, but the drivers did. We didn’t begrudge them, hey more power to them for picking up extra money. Our boss was a cheapskate, whom drove around with his Lexus, owned a million dollar home on the beach front and had the gall to dock pay from the two most trust worthy people in the place, when money came up short in the register. There were six druggies and two high school students…everyone had their hands in the cookie jar…ALL DAY LONG. Our jobs lasted four hours a day, three days a week. It was crappy pay already, then to lose forty dollars at the end of the week because the weekly count was off? Yeah…it was crap.

    Getting a tip was the highlight of any work day, it meaned someone appreciated what I did enough to say here you go. You deserve this, even if it was an extra dollar or two. Our boss had expressly forbidden any tips stating that if we received them, they were to go right in the drawer. Right…like that happened, especially after making us work through the Carolina summer with no air conditioning next to two five hundred degree ovens.

    Long story short, I may have not been a waiter, but I always tip them. I understand they don’t get paid jack compared to what I got at minimum wage. Alongside of that, no matter what they’ve been through that day, they come to your table with a smile on their face and put up with your crap? That at least deserves 15% if not a 20% tip.

  12. i applaud waiters and waitresses i have no where near enough memory to do what they do and i do work in the service industry (concession at a movie theater) simply put that man is an idiot waiting tables is hard work and tipping is deserved especially seeing as how they are very lowly compensated (I just recently found out that they get paid less than minimum wage and tips make up most of their pay) also i don’t know how feminism got mixed up into this but the feeling of being owed something has nothing to do with that at all

  13. I’ve worked as a server, a hostess, a banquet server, an expo, a hotel barista, and managed a sub shop. The server was the only one regularly tipped. I did get tips as a hostess and sub shop manager, and just the other night, as a banquet server. I routinely got tipped 18-25% as a server. But the other night was special. It really touched me, because I knew I had made their day better and they had no obligation to me, and that’s why I love this business and probably will never leave it.

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