Just about every corporate chain restaurant has on staff what is known as a Resident Lesbian Recruiter. The typical RLR is a notorious party girl who is of course attracted to other party girls. They take (and from what I understand-give) great pleasure in not only doing other chicks, but also most especially in taking newbie straight chicks on their first trip into vaginaville. You’ll see them at a lot of parties kissing a few of the chicks you work with. Okay you’ll see them at all the parties. Kissing most of the chicks you work with.
You’re probably thinking ‘Hey, I work with a Resident Lesbian Recruiter.’
You might even be thinking ‘Hey, I AM a Resident Lesbian Recruiter.’
If so then you get a Hell Yeah. People like you make life less dull.
Anywhoozzle I used to work with this chick at Outback who was the very best RLR the free world has ever known. Outside of a prison setting of course. She couldn’t be boxed into a single label. No sir. This chick was probably the freakiest human being on the planet. She loved other chicks, pain, anal, more pain, anal pain, and loved loved LOVED black cock, and oh yes–other chicks.
She used to have a friend that worked there that had long dark hair and a big, downtown East 14th street ghetto-assed booty and she shared similar interests. Dark hair, big ass. Pay attention.
So this new chick comes in to apply for a job and she sat at the bar filling out the application, which was taken away to the mysterious regions of the manager’s office to have its fate decided. She just happened to be the exact hair and ass twin of the RLR’s friend from behind. And I do mean the exact hair and ass twin. And she happened to be leaning over the bar, face in hand, with her butt sticking out from the bar stool when the RLR came walking around the bar.
Now the RLR was a flagrant sexual harrasser and harassee. Many breadboards had been broken on her ass at her behest, and I’m not talking about the cheap thin ones. These were the inch thick pine breadboards with holes for the butter ramekin. Let’s just say she enjoyed a good game of slap and tickle. Without the tickle. So she comes around the corner of the bar and sees someone she thinks is her friend sitting at the bar with her butt poking out. Not being able to resist such a target she pulled her hand back and did something (she thought) she had done a thousand times–she gave this chick at the bar a huge wallop on the ass.
It was a good hit, too, reverberating through the dining room and bar area over Bad Company’s Feel Like Making Love. Lips stopped in mid-sentence, forks stopped on the way to mouths, heads turned–everybody heard it. Those of us who worked there and saw it happening just couldn’t bring ourselves to stop it.
This poor applicant turns around and the RLR sees that it’s not her friend but a total stranger. This was probably the only time I’ve ever seen this chick embarrassed, and that’s really saying something given the number of breadboards listed as ‘lost or stolen’ during her tenure there.
So the applicant just turns around and without pause asks ‘Does this mean I got the job?’
Dignity and Respect
Me, The JerBear