My Restaurant Career Part III

When we last left off I was working at the Chili’s that I had opened and branching out doing other jobs. Jobs such as being a repo man, a furniture store manager, a book store manager, and . . .

(12) Coosa Country Club (quit) I worked as a waiter and a bartender at the oldest and most prestigious country club in town.  Their inefficient methods and haughty atmosphere did not suit my casual dining personality. I’d love to say that Tyler Durden had nothing on me but I behaved for the most part. I quit one night when they scheduled me to work one time too many in 100 degree heat on the river with the skeeters in long sleeves and tie. I still had my job at Chili’s when I quit.

I had worked at the big red pepper for over 5 years when one day during the lunch rush right after getting triple sat I took a quick piss. I  used soap and hot water and washed my hands quickly. A little too quickly perhaps because one of my tables saw me and bitched to a manager that I didn’t wash my hands. Even after FIVE YEARS of service in an industry with 100%+ turnover, even after opening that store, they decided they should cover my shifts and quietly let me go based on the ravings of a hillbilly idiot customer. I decided they could cover my balls with their collective mouth and suck on ’em til I squealed and then I decided to go . . . you guessed it . . . across the street to the new restaurant they were opening to be the very last server they hired. In fact they had already closed the books but then they opened them back up to hire me at . . .

(13) Outback (opened it)-Fired 9 fucking times-That’s right I was fired nine times from this place and as far as I know I still hold the company wide record. I worked just about every position at this job too. I was even a trainer and a traveling key manager that would go to other stores. I could fill up the entire internet with all the things I’ve seen and done at this place. Outbackers party harder than Chiliheads do after all. A few of the times I was fired was when I was working the BOH and the KM would change the schedule on my day off to schedule me to come in on my day off. I would come in on the next regularly-scheduled shift and somebody would always say ‘What are you doing here? You got fired yesterday!’ I got fired four times on my day off.  Then I started working in the FOH, where I was fired the other five times, usually because I was too honest with the wrong manager(s). Like at Chili’s I would go out and get other jobs, one time at . . .

(14) Provino’s-quit-This was a little Italianish joint that happened to be housed in the same place as the Regazzi’s that I used to work at. The manager was a super cool guy and I hated to quit on him but I was lured back to the OB by the original GM who was apparently just fascinated by my manner of speech.

The last time I was fired from Outback was because I was quitting. Fed up with the new emotionally unstable GM who took my keys away for asking for my food to be discounted, I had gotten a job at the next great restaurant opening up in town. They knew about this and scheduled me on a day I wasn’t available just so I couldn’t be there so I could be fired. Again. Which led me to . . .

(15) Santa Fe Cattle Co. (opened it)-Fired-After having seen its menu I thought this place would be a combination of Outback and On The Border.  After tasting the food I realized it was more like a combination of Ryan’s and Taco Bell. I didn’t like this place that much. They hired roughly three times the number of people they needed and would often brag about how eager they were to fire anybody for any reason. I wasn’t that sad to go to . . .

(16) Olive Garden-Fired-The OG was owned by Darden, the largest restaurant corporation in the entire known universe. Naturally I hated the hyper-corporate environment but I made it work for a long time. It was during this time that a sleeping giant awoke in me and I started writing and recording some new comedy songs and material. They say to write about what you know and I figured I knew a hell of a lot about working in restaurants so that was my focus. I had put up one of my songs on an obscure website so that a friend of mine across the country could hear it in addition to passing out CDs to friends at work. Someone who wasn’t a friend got one in the hands of management and then I got fired for it. Actually I was suspended for a week with pay while they decided how to fuck up the situation as much as they could. So now Darden has an internet content policy thanks to me. If you work for a Darden concept and you are wondering where that page in the employee manual came from–it was me. Sorry gang.

For years I was content to be a former comedian who didn’t perform or write. Getting canned from the friggin Olive Garden for messing around with their birthday song lit a fire in me. I have since performed in restaurants, bars, comedy clubs, car shows–you name it. I’ve even won a couple of accolades and contests for my pro-restaurant industry employee comedy songs. Now I bill myself as a restaurant industry employee advocate and say the things they could never get away with saying. In a  way that gross violation of my personal freedom (I had, after all listed my comedy experience in the ‘What skills do you have that would make you a special employee?’ section of the job application) was a good thing. More on all this later.

Meanwhile, right after OG fired me I had to eat, so I got a job at . . .

(17) Deano’s Pizzaria-Quit-Oh boy what a crappy, grabastic unorganized restaurant this was. The owner was a complete buffoon who ran a dirty, ridiculous restaurant but never should have gone into that business. Oh well it gave me a check until I got what I hope is my last restaurant job at  . . .

(18) XXXXSushi JointXXXX-Still Working-This place is a virtual paradise in the restaurant world and I hope I never leave. And I actually mean that sincerely. I work for and with good people and I love the food. Good times!




Dignity and Respect

Me, The JerBear


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11 responses to “My Restaurant Career Part III

    • Yeah I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of it but I can challenge just about anyone to say they’ve worked more jobs in more places and seen more shit than I have. Damn, I’m even surprised you read all that. Kudos!

      So . . . my number is 18 different restaurant jobs spread out over 24 different locations doing every job from dishwasher to manager. What’s your number?

  1. Reds

    Hey just found you’re blog through FMT and i hope you keep at it!

    As for me, I feel weird saying that my number is already at 10 (12 if you count movie theater cafe and papa johns). The sad part is that im not even quite 24 years old haha. But on the bright side, some of these were at the same time (multiple jobs…woo) and i moved around a lot during college. PLUS I’ve never been fired. Go me!

    However like you my current job is heaven on earth in the restaurant world. I plan on staying there until i hopefully find a “real job” with my college degree. congrats on finding the rare cool restaurant job!

  2. bloomin onion

    Wow. That’s alot. I’ve had a dozen or so, and been everything from dishwasher to interim km. (excluding bartender, busser, host, and salaried management)
    I, too worked at the OG, and hated it. I was fired for not bringing the wine bottle to a table one too many times. (3 times, actually) the last one was a table on a Sunday afternoon, the family I was waiting on had put all their wine glasses at the end of the table, and I had already been delayed in greeting them. I was pretty sick of it by then anyway. Serving crap Italian food in a long sleeved shirt and ugly tie only lasted 4 months. Besides, I was almost exclusively on lunch, which meant 75-80% of my customers had the fucking soup. Glad I got out before endless pasta. I’ve heard some bad stories about that.

  3. An Educated Server

    So you’re the one that almost got me fired! I work for Darden and I just got written up for something I posted on Facebook. It’s no big deal though. Lol. I got a written warning and they let me come back. That’s a pretty impressive career though, and I’m glad that you enjoy your current position. I wish you the best!

    • What a sweet first comment Edds! I LOVE the name of your blog and the posts in it that I’ve read so far. I haven’t gotten through all of them yet but you’ll have to forgive me cause I am new to this whole blogging thing.

      Yup, as far as I know I was the first to get fired from the OG for writing a song or two. If you feel like your employers are getting to be a little bit too much like Big Brother when they monitor your internet content and punish you for expressing yourself on facebook then I am right there with you.

      Congratulations on getting through all three posts about my restaurant resume. You get a prize if you can read all of the ‘birth’ posts when I’m done.

      May I ask what is YOUR number (how many restaurants have you worked in)?

      • An Educated Server

        First off, thanks for checking out my blog. Like you, this is all new to me, so I’m just doing what I think is right and hoping that people like it! Even when my job was in the balance, I wasn’t too concerned about the blog because I have a few posts on stand-by. 🙂
        As far as my career goes, I’ve only actually worked in two restaurants. My first job was at Logan’s Roadhouse. It got me through college, and a few years afterwards, so I’m appreciative. The job I have now pays the bills, but the drama that’s attached is a bit much. I’ll survive though. I also worked at a coffee shop on campus for 2 years in college, but I don’t know if that counts in the calculations.
        And now that I know that there’s a prize, I’ll definitely read all of your “birth” posts.

      • Haha don’t get your hopes up the prize isn’t a retirement condo in Boca or anything.

        And yes I think the coffee shop gig counts in your restaurant total–ANY food service job where you work with the public or in a kitchen providing food and food-related services counts!

  4. Glad you’ve found a home. How many other jobs are you holding right now?

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